Note: This is very silly and should not be taken seriously
Half Empty or Half Full: Part II
In our quest to figure out whether the glass is half empty or half full, we interviewed several people of all faiths and no faith. God's gotta have something to say about the great questions of life, right?
The agnostic says: I don't know.
The strong agnostic says: You don't know.
The gnostic says: I know, and it makes me feel important, so you don't get to know.
The Catholic says: I know that her accidents are those a glass. But in essence, this object is Natalie Portman. Damn ... she's so hot ... [looks at glass, eyes glaze over, and begins to drool]
The high - church Anglican says: OMG SISTER, you are SO RIGHT!!! SLAY QUEEN!!! [looks at Catholic, eyes glaze over, and begins to drool]
The low - church Anglican says: Nah, that's too far. Like, the glass is def Natalie Portman, but she's just there in spirit or something.
The Jew says: Huh? Why do you people think the glass is Natalie Portman?
The Southern Baptist says: She isn't!! They're wrong!! It just commemorates her!! Or something!!